is real [p4]: A-week-into October thoughts

Sometimes I wish my phone was with me, so that I could save all of these bittersweet memories and turn them into a collage like Benjy does every month. But the reality is harsh af, I’m just gonna bulletpoint something for now.
  • I finished the theater project!! Two weeks of getting lost, running after trains and buses, finally getting onto them and 50% falling asleep 50% reading philosophy afterwards, or doing neither of them because I was busy holding Nabil’s speaker behind his bike, thinking dinner would be better than dining hall’s but reality is harsh (once again), ending up buying food all over places, and hugging and working with strangers in 50% French 50% Hebrew, finally ended. During the summer, I wasn’t going to sign up for it BUT I went to Shakespeare in the Park, and enjoyed it so so much, and kept wondering about the process of producing a play, and this happened. I may have said I like to look for the easy way out, but this experience just proves otherwise, that I am committed even if the thing is not my favorite. Big thank you to Khanh N. and Linda for accompanying me throughout this journey, I know I’m the cranky one hehe.
  • I fasted (again!) during Yom Kippur. Sleeping for 16 hours straight is possible y’all! I was very much desparate in my fast last year, and in the end, I thought I wasn’t going to do it again. But the thing is, I was disappointed at myself for not getting the point of this day, and so I tried again. I was so so satisfied this time I’m telling you, I felt so mindful, wise and focused on my reading (almost done with it). At this point I had to agree with Giang on her perspective of this materialistic world and its relation to sufferings. This world would have been so much better if we YOLO without our physical need, because, really, we are all going to die anyway. I thank myself (supposedly my biggest enermy) for walking along this spiritual path. Once again, I’m not religious, I’m just spiritual. Will never be religious tbh.
  • My academic life is awful ahahah and boo college app. Sometimes I feel like I’m just trying to get away with these deadlines, and instead focusing on understanding this life. Or working on whatever I’m committed to and passionate about, like my VYCO fam, band band band (gotta get back asap), or GIC (with a balloon). Sometimes I end up going to random (but meaningful) events like TAU Research Night or signing myself up for borders committee. These things matter to me, in the sense that I believe in them and their results, but it would really take a while (by the end I mean) for me to tell you how greatly they matter to me. At this very moment I’m just trying to do my best in standardized tests, finish my Math IA and complete things for my ED application; but in the (hopefully) very near future you’ll see me popping up everywhere (I miss my deary land Jerusalem). By the way I enjoy TOK at 8AM.
  • Finally I am so in love with my friends, who have been so amazing to bear with me through shit ton of rants about what life is and why it matters, college disasters, nature of human beings and whatever peculiar that comes into my mind at 1 2 3 4AM. Not only that, these lovely people just make so so much food and drink for me I think I’m gaining weight again after pasta/noodles at midnight. Please don’t die in a tornado or whatever I love you all.
  • Excuse my English at 3.30AM.

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